Not Another High School Fic!
by Jayden Shay
Summary: "What do you mean we're normal kids?" Dean fumed, "Dammit Gabriel!"
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This was inspired by a rant on TVTropes about AU fics, and how someone always does the highschool thing. This chapter is mostly setting the stage/background, but we'll see where it goes. **

Riding shotgun in Dean's impala on the way to school, Sam couldn't shake the odd feeling in his gut. His stomach was tied up in anxious knots like he'd forgotten something, but Sam couldn't seem to figure out what. He'd gone through his backpack three times now! He had all of his binders; he had his homework – or did he? Sam's hand twitched towards the backpack between his feet. He could have sworn he'd just seen it… Better to check.

"What the hell?" Dean asked, glancing over at him briefly, "You tryin' to smuggle somethin' into school Sammy-boy?"

"No," Sam mumbled, tapping his foot nervously, trying to resist the urge to check his backpack again. Had he left the paper for English on his desk?

"You don't have Ruby in there, do you?" His older brother demanded, "So help me god Sam, I will pull this car over." Now Dean was glancing furtively at Sam's backpack, drifting briefly into the other lane.

"No Dean! Watch the road!" Sam protested, finally giving in to his paranoia and tugging the backpack onto the seat beside him. He rifled through it quickly, yanked out the folder where his paper should be – and it was there. Sam breathed a sigh of relief.

His fear that Sam had tried to sneak his pet snake into the car now gone, Dean laughed at him instead. "Nerd boy."

"Jerk," Sam replied, his face hot – great, he was blushing – as he shoved the folder back into his bag.

"Bitch," Came his brother's automatic reply. Sam really should have seen that one coming.

The feeling was still there though, even as Dean pulled into the high school parking lot. Had he forgotten his lunch, his gym clothes? No, Sam was sure he didn't have gym today. Or did he? Had he been in the gym yesterday, or was it a gym day today? Crap, crap, crap!

"Relax," Dean interrupted Sam's racing thoughts with a forceful hand on his knee. Sam hadn't even been aware he'd been tapping his foot again. His nerves were going haywire. "I'm sure you made a hundred on whatever geek project you're worrying about now."

"Yeah. Right." Sam mumbled, finding it impossibly hard to swallow past the lump in his throat as he got out of the car. What had he forgotten? Hell, was it a gym day? He couldn't remember… The answer was hovering in the back of his head, just out of reach and it was driving Sam crazy.

By the time he got to his locker, Sam couldn't take any more. That awful feeling that he was missing something completely obvious was killing him. He was so distracted as he looked over his locker again for anything he might need, that he failed to notice the figure sneaking up behind him.

"Gotcha!" It said, low in his ear, arms wrapping themselves around Sam's waist. He froze, and then its mouth was against his neck. "Hey Sammy," The blonde greeted him, planting a quick kiss on his neck before letting him turn.

Sam let out the breath he'd been holding in relief and grinned. "Hey Jess." Forgetfulness aside, at least for now, he wrapped his arms around her and bent to kiss her back. Their lips pressed together softly, and it was like a dam burst loose in Sam's head.

From behind closed eyelids he could see Jess, only much older, splayed out impossibly on the ceiling. And then she was burning.

Sam gasped, pulling back forcefully. "Sam, what is it?" Jess asked him as he stared at her blankly, as if he'd seen a ghost. It was all coming back to him now – Dean, hunting, the demon, the freaking apocalypse – and Jess. His breath came in ragged pants as he pushed her away, doing the only thing he knew how to. He was going to throw up; he had to find Dean.

Sam ran.

**So... is this even worth continuing, or am I writing terrible crap that should never have been published? The idea was funny enough in my head, but I'm not so sure now.**

**In other news, if you're a fan of my more pornographic works, check out my livejournal for some original fiction. Yes, I am shamelessly plugging my own, original work. Aren't I cool? (Link on my profile!)**


	2. Chapter 2

"Alright Dean!" Someone yelled as Dean ran for the touchdown, dodging the other team's players like he was born to do it. His team cheered the second he passed the line, slamming the ball down in defiance of the yellow team. They'd won, and all thanks to him. As usual.

Coach puffed on his whistle threateningly, warning the boys that they'd better calm down and get their asses back inside to change before the period was up. Dean looked over and grinned, then faltered. The coach looked awfully familiar.

Well of course the coach looked awfully familiar, Dean assured himself, he had this gym class every day, and then saw coach again at football after school. Hell, he spent more time with Coach than he did with Sammy.

And that was wrong. Since when did he spend more time with anyone who wasn't his nerdy little brother? A bad feeling started to rise up in his gut. What was going on here?

Dean hung back, falling into line right beside his coach at the end of the line. "Nice playing today Dean." He started up right away, "You play like that on Saturday, and we've got the game in the bag."

"I don't know Coach," Dean mused, deciding to voice his doubts, "you really think I'm supposed to be playing football?" Of course, Coach looked at him as if he'd suddenly grown another six heads.

"Dean, you're the best player I've ever had come through this high school! That's just the nerves talking. I know Saturday is a big deal and all, what with the college scouts, but you've got it son. Just focus on your game and you'll do fine."

"I'm not your son," Dean muttered before he could stop himself, and there was a familiar twinkle in the man's eye. Without a moment's hesitation, Dean shoved the smaller man up against the bleachers. "I don't know what's going on here," He snarled, "but you're going to tell me what it is right now."

"Bravo. Took you long enough El Deano," Gabriel cracked at him, "we're in high school, if you hadn't noticed. Been a while, hasn't it?"

"Been a while?" Dean asked incredulously, wracking his brains for some other life in which he could remember running not from other highschoolers, but from… from something else. Something dark, something evil. All he knew was that he wasn't a normal kid. Not really. And he definitely hadn't always known how to play football, let alone was good at it.

"What do you mean?" He asked the man – archangel, whatever. "What do you mean we're normal kids?" Dean fumed. It felt like he was peering through murky water, trying to remember, with a rather mind-rape-y effect. He was a hunter – whatever that meant – he was starting to be sure now and Gabriel… Gabriel was the cause of this. He always had been before. "Dammit Gabriel!"

The angel held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Hey, it wasn't me." He told Dean, "I'm stuck in this too. Whatever's going on, I'm as human as you and your gigantic brother."

"What?" Dean asked, completely caught off guard. Usually it was Gabriel's fault when he and Sammy wound up somewhere weird. "Sammy, where is he?" Dean asked urgently then, his priorities shifting just like that. Gabriel just shrugged.

"No idea. Around here somewhere. Hopefully he's already figured it out; it's going to be annoying enough trying to explain this to you."

Dean got the feeling that he should be offended, but really couldn't have cared less at the moment. Right now, he was more concerned with 'What the hell?' and trying to find Sam.

"Well come on," Gabriel told him, starting to walk away from Dean, back towards the school like he expected him to just follow. The sound of a bell reached the both of them, and Gabriel sped up his pace.

But that's when something caught Dean's eye from behind the bleachers.

"Hang on Gabe," He called out, deciding to investigate. He strode around the edge of the bleachers, speeding up when he heard what sounded like a cry for help. This felt good – like Dean was finally doing what he was supposed to. Saving people, hunting things. Now where had that come from?

When Dean was finally close enough, what he saw pushed him straight into action. A small, dark haired boy was being beat up by a much bigger guy on the cement beneath the bleachers, and Dean was going to put a stop to it.

"Hey," He called out, shoving the bully off of the other boy, "pick on someone your own size," But Dean didn't give him a chance to, delivering a swift punch, quickly followed by another.

"You're gonna pay for that!" The boy warned him, but ran off nonetheless, knowing how badly he was beat. Dean just rolled his eyes, turning back to help up the other boy.

"Thanks," The boy acknowledged, blushing slightly as Dean helped him to his feet. The effect was quite endearing, and even – a bit cute. Dean immediately cursed himself for thinking it – _what the hell_? – He was most definitely straight!

When he looked up though, brilliant blue eyes had Dean instantly second guessing himself again. "Dean?" He asked, in grateful surprise.

Dean knew him – he did. Who – "Cas," He blurted out just in time, not really sure where the name had come from, but it felt right rolling off of his tongue. The shorter boy smiled shyly, so Dean knew he'd gotten it. There were butterflies in his stomach though when he realized that he was still holding the boy's hand from pulling him up. So he coughed awkwardly, pulling away and brushing his hand against his shorts instead, now unsure what to do.

"We should, uh," He faltered, unsure of himself and how he even knew Cas in the first place.

"Right." Cas responded, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "We need to go back to school and figure out what's going on. Was that Gabriel you were talking to earlier?"

"Yeah," Dean told him, glad that at least Cas knew what to do, if not what was going on with them. Then it occurred to him that Cas and Gabriel were brothers, out of the blue and almost more confusing than if he'd been told. That meant – "Cas, you're an angel. You,"

"I seem to be human now," The angel interrupted, "I can't zap us back Dean, I've tried."

"Oh." Dean responded, if anything, even more confused than he'd been a minute ago. He wasn't even sure what he'd been about to ask, before Cas had given him more to think about than it felt like Dean's brain could handle at the moment. In fact, he wasn't quite sure that this wasn't just a bizarre dream.

They began to walk back to school, catching up with Gabriel, who simply rolled his eyes. "Done with your chick-flick moment yet?" He asked, sarcasm practically dripping from his tone.

Dean didn't know what made him do it, but he slugged Gabriel on the arm in response, defending himself, "I don't have chick-flick moments!"

"Oww,"

Gabriel opened his mouth, probably to make another smartass comment, but it was cut off by a shout of "Dean!" from in front of the school building. Sam ran up to them, panting and gasping for breath, but when he spoke, it was perfectly clear. "Dean," he gasped, sounding panicked, breathing the words that would seal their fate, "We're in a fan-fiction!"


	3. Chapter 3

"A what?" Dean asked, just slightly beyond confused. Beside him, the angels were as opposite in their reactions as night and day. Castiel gasped, looking appropriately horrified, but Gabriel snickered, going so far as to grin.

Sam couldn't figure out any reason why Gabriel would be laughing at all. He'd done his research, and while he had yet to find whatever fic they'd been so unceremoniously thrust into, he'd found enough to know that fan girls were dangerous creatures. Deranged, perverted, and sadistic, evil creatures.

"What the hell is so funny about this?" He snapped at Gabriel, completely ignoring his brother's confusion for the moment.

"Ten to one says you're in bed with your brother by tomorrow night," Gabriel gloated, way too amused by that. Sam was momentarily speechless, fuming. And yet, how had Gabriel known that? "Oh I've done my research Sammy-boy," The angel chuckled, "Well, to be fair, I didn't actually realize it was research at the time… Do you really have some kind of huge, mutant super-dick? Inquiring minds want to know. If you know what I mean," And then he winked.

Sam choked on his own air, managing only a strangled cough in reply. He tried to replay that last bit over in his head – had he really just – did Gabriel really just say –

"What?" Dean asked for him, voice full of incredulity, then followed it up with a sharp command to "Breathe, Sam," since the latter seemed to be having an awful lot of trouble with that function at the moment. Despite not really knowing what was going on, Dean had to admit that he was at least slightly enjoying himself. Who knew his scrawny little brother had a monster-cock? "You've been holding out on me Sammy," He teased, elbowing his beyond flustered brother in the ribs.

"There is nothing 'mutant' about my – my, you know," Sam snapped, a bit ineffectively, his cheeks practically fire-engine red with embarrassment. Gabriel just looked like he'd died and gone to heaven (again), and Sam was seriously debating being the cause of that death.

"I don't understand." Castiel spoke up then, as usual much too innocent for his own good. He opened his mouth as if he was about to say more, perhaps further clarifying, but Sam cut him off before he could.

"There's nothing to – never mind." A second later, a light bulb went off in Sam's head. "Wait a minute… You read fan fiction? What are you, a teenage girl?"

He'd been aiming to shame the archangel with that announcement, but Gabriel only shrugged. "Sure, I get bored. I've even written a few myself." His smug grin immediately set off Sam's inner 'oh shit' alarm, doubly so when Gabriel winked at him again. "Sabriel's my fave."

"What the hell?" Dean butted in, as Sam wound up struggling for breath yet again, lowering himself down to the sidewalk to hide his face in his hands and pray for death. Oh god, this couldn't be happening to him… "What's Sabriel? Would someone please explain to me what the hell is going on? And what is fan fiction?

**Okay, sorry it's so short, but I'll try to post another chapter tomorrow or the next day to make up for it. Now that I'm done with school, I've got all the time in the world to write this crap! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

"It's evil," Sam moaned from his spot on the curb. "Pure evil – in literary form."

Dean just stared at him in confusion, while Gabriel just laughed all the more. "Where's your sense of adventure Sammy?" He chuckled, "Had I known that's how you felt about it, I would have stuck you in a fic a **long** time ago!"

"Lovely." Sam grumbled.

Dean chose then to bring the focus of the conversation back to him, with a sound that was very nearly a snarl. "Would someone please tell me what the fuck a fan fiction is already?"

"Oh Dean," Gabriel sighed, sounding much too happy for any good to possibly come out of this, "Fan fiction is a wonderful convention in which teenage girls with nothing better to do with their time utilize the anonymity of the internet in order to share their own homoerotic fantasies – of one exceptionally good looking man and his older brother (Gabriel winked at Sam again) – with others. It's quite popular really."

"Homo- what?"

"Homoerotic," Gabriel replied, without even a bit of hesitation or embarrassment.

"Gabriel," Sam warned, but it was too late.

"You know, like, Dean getting impaled on Sammy's supersized –"

He never did get to finish what he was saying, because that's when Sam finally decided to get back up, towering over Gabriel as he slugged the angel in the face. Enough was enough.

"Sam," Castiel began, as if trying to talk some sense into the younger man, who was currently being glared daggers at by a bloody-mouthed angel.

Of course, Sam cut him off. "It's proportional!" He snapped at Gabriel, "Now stop talking about my dick! And for godssakes: stop using adjectives!" Less than a moment later, Sam realized with a sinking feeling in his chest just how loudly he'd said that. The group of stoners over by the mobile units, who'd joined them in the idea of cutting class that period, were staring now, some snickering, others attempting to size him up. Sam wasn't sure which was worse.

"Okay, I think I'm dreaming," Dean announced, pinching his arm, "I could have sworn Gabriel just said, never mind. You know, I don't think **I** want to know. New topic. What's a Sabriel? Something we've gotta hunt down?" For a second, he looked optimistic at the thought of some new kind of creature to hunt.

"Not exactly," Sam sighed, immediately squashing Dean's hope. "It's a portmanteau,"

"A what?"

"A mash up of two words. Or, well, names," Sam admitted, albeit unwillingly, "It's used in fan fiction to designate pairings."

"Designate pairings? What are you, a lawyer? English please, Sam." Dean told him, still just as confused as he'd been a minute ago, if not more. "What do you mean by pairings?"

"Couples, Dean. Like," He seemed at a loss for a moment before recovering, "Like 'Brangelina'. It's, it's a," He gestured vaguely, trying to find a way to explain that wouldn't involve letting Dean know what Sabriel was, hopefully distracting him from that train of thought, and even more hopefully not involving the term 'wincest'.

"You mix the two people's names to get the name for them as a couple," Gabriel jumped in to explain oh so unhelpfully. "Well, most of the time anyway. You guys usually go as wincest though."

"Wincest?" Dean asked incredulously, "**Who** goes as wincest?" The way he phrased it though, it was clearly a rhetorical question. Sam wondered briefly if it was too late to kill himself. Or Gabriel, at the very least.

"Like I said though," Gabriel continued, completely oblivious of Sam's death glare. If only looks could kill… The latter mused, "I prefer Sabriel." He grinned back over at Sam, obviously haven already forgiven him for the split lip, or just trying to torture him all the more. Sam wasn't sure which. "You bending over to be Sammy's bitch is way predictable." Okay, so maybe he was still mad.

"You mean I'm the bottom?" Dean asked, looking horrified at that fact.

Even Castiel, who'd managed to stay fairly calm up until this point, looked incensed. "Dean is no one's bitch." He spoke up in a surprisingly low, gravelly voice, and if that sent shivers up the eldest Winchester's spine, he tried valiantly to hide it. And tried not to think too much about it either.

"So we need to figure out a way to get out of this," Sam said then, basically interrupting and changing the entire conversation, because if he heard one more thing about wincest, he was going to be sick. He looed at his brother then, and sure, Dean's hot – how else would he get so much ass when they're on the road? – But in an objective way. It's all fine and good if some chick wants to screw Dean, but Sam's not, and he **won't**. Ick. He shuddered, hoping to god that Dean feels the same way, finally adding, "Not to mention how we got here in the first place."

He looked around at his companions, but it's dead silent. It's clear that they've got no clue. Dean goes so far as to shrug, looking at him as if to say, 'don't ask me; what's your big idea?'

"A witch maybe?" Sam offers finally, when it's clear that no one else is going to speak up.

Dean immediately makes a face. "Oh yuck," He grumbles, "Them and all the bodily fluids…" And that's clearly not how he meant it, Sam thinks, cringing because he knows exactly how bad that came out, and exactly how Gabriel's going to take it.

Sure enough, the angel gives Dean a very suggestive look, glancing back at Sam and then back to Dean once more in a way that said everything for him, before absolutely losing it and cracking up.

"I'm not fucking my brother!" Sam told him, again much too loudly, and now he could definitely hear laughs coming from the stoner crowd. It probably looked like some goddam intervention to them or something, but he tried not to think about that at the moment. "Jess is here," he growled, "She's alive, and she's mine, and so help me Gabriel, if you screw that up for me –" He was determined to make the best of this while he had to, and if that meant he'd have Jess for few hours more, he was going to take it, and cherish it.

"Whoa there Sammy," Dean told him, pulling him back from where he'd started to get all up in Gabriel's space, towering over the much shorter man with nothing less than fire in his eyes. For a second, Gabriel honestly looked scared, but then he grinned again.

"Don't worry there Sammy, I bet I can make you forget all about her,"

That time, it took both Dean and Cas to hold him back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, so at some point, I'm going to re-organize the chapters (make them fit together in actual chapters instead of just bits and pieces that I managed to finish) and probably do some editing, because yeah, no beta, and my inner editor is trying to kill me over this fic. Sorry in advance for the notifications to the people with this on alert.**

**Also, thanks to 'Reaper's Curse' for the idea… hehe. Whew, I think that's everything – on with the story!**

Eventually, Gabriel had to go back to work, seeing as he was the gym teacher/coach, and his absence wouldn't be taken nearly as lightly as a few students. Being the nerd he was, Castiel headed off to his own class at the next bell. That left Sam and Dean facing off, just staring at each other awkwardly. Cringe-worthy, brother-fucking images and issues aside, they did have classes to go to.

"Don't think this is over," Dean warned him, as Sam stared down his own shoes, "When we get home, you're telling me everything, you hear me?"

"Yes Dean," Sam grumbled, already dreading it while knowing that kind of conversation was inevitable. He started to walk away – so useful that he had a study hall this block, because he was going to figure out what the heck was going on with them. He was going to get to the bottom of this, and now. Research was practically his best friend at this point.

Besides, an hour in the library was exactly what Sam needed after this morning. No more talk of slash fans, Sabriel, wincest, or any other kind of brother-fucking… Just blissful silence, row upon row of books, and hopefully a computer with a good internet connection, since he'd exhausted his laptop's battery this morning – researching this stupid fan fiction thing in the first place actually.

"Sammy," Dean called after him a moment later, and Sam turned, hearing the uncertainty in his brother's voice. Dean was frowning, looking uneasy.

"Yeah Dean?"

"Just, just be careful." He swallowed hard, and Sam couldn't doubt the concern that he heard. He grinned.

"Will do."

Dean did have a good point though, Sam realized as he headed off to the library. If some witch had put them in this fan fiction – or, really, whatever had – it would most likely be after them in some form if it knew they'd figured it out. He had to keep his guard up, just in case. It wouldn't do to be getting kidnapped again, though if they really were in a fan fiction… Dammit.

The library was quiet as Sam searched the archives online, trying to find whatever fan fiction they were in. He'd had no luck trying to figure out what had put them in this in the first place – from what he was aware, it was pretty much either a witch or a trickster, but if Gabriel was truly as human as he said, and so was Cas… well, Sam didn't want to think about what that meant. It certainly couldn't be good though.

Really though, what kind of being had enough power to strip an archangel of theirs? "Oh shit, we're so screwed," Sam muttered to himself, rubbing at his eyes briefly and burying his face in his hands. He had a major headache coming on now, almost as bad as they'd been when he still got visions all the time.

He'd looked up every keyword he could think of, but he was no closer to narrowing down the list of fan fictions that had popped up on his first few searches. Apparently, sticking them in high school was quite popular – who would have guessed.

Sam made a brief mental note to ask Dean later if he'd saved Cas from any kind of bullying. Apparently that was just as common as him being some sort of mega-jock (… and Sam having a mega-cock, but he didn't really want to think about that at the moment.)

"So you're fucking your brother, huh?"

Sam jumped, looking over to see a much shorter guy with dark, spikey hair pulling over a chair to sit next to him. "What? Uhh, oh, no! No, definitely not." Sam spluttered out, caught off guard, to say the least.

He minimized his search window – definitely did not need to give this guy the wrong idea – as the kid took his seat, straddling the chair backwards so he could lean on the back as he spoke to Sam.

"You know, if you really are fucking your brother…" He leaned in conspiratorially to say, and Sam automatically leaned back, swallowing hard. "You're blushing," The guy pointed out with a laugh, "Sorry, just teasing you. Name's Andy. Couldn't help overhearing you guys earlier though. Let me tell you, you put on one hell of a show!" He grinned hugely, offering his hand to shake.

"Uhh, thanks," Sam replied, pretty sure the guy was still at least a little bit stoned. "How much of that did you hear anyway?" He had to at least make sure the group of stoners hadn't heard anything important, especially if this Andy kid was so eager to chat all of a sudden.

"Hey man," Andy told him, looking slightly concerned, "All I heard was you telling the gym teacher to stop talking about your dick, and then assuring everyone is a ten mile radius that you're not screwing your brother. You sure you're alright? I mean, I'm not really the type to interfere or anything, but,"

"But what?" Sam asked, the sinking feeling in his chest growing. Was he really getting at what Sam thought he was?

"The guy wasn't harassing you or anything, right? I guess, well, not in front of your brother, but, hey, okay, awkward."

"Uh, yeah," But now Sam relaxed, laughing a bit. The kid was worried about him, of all people. "I'm not being harassed, but thanks Andy. You're alright."

Andy immediately went back to his laid-back and slightly cocky demeanor. "You too Sam. Hey, if you ever want to hang out, let me know. I can score just about anything…"

"Thanks," Sam cut him off quickly, "but I'm good. Not really my style man, but I'll keep it in mind."

"You do that."

There was a moment of awkward silence between the two of them, before a librarian hurried over.

"Hi there, uh, Sam,' She interrupted, seeming apologetic despite that, "I just got a call up at the front desk – Coach Thomas would like to see you in his office. You should probably head on up there; I'm not sure what he wanted."

"Umm, thanks. I guess," Sam told her, closing out of his browsing session as fast as he could before grabbing for his book bag. "I'll get on that now then."

Andy raised his eyebrows at Sam as the librarian walked away. "You sure –"

"Yeah, I swear, not what it sounds like. " Sam told him, "My brother probably knocked his head on something and is refusing to go to the nurse." The headache was back, and he grimaced slightly, effectively ruining the effect of his hopefully easy grin.

"Dude," Andy replied, looking slightly worried, "I guess it's not really any of my business, but if you ever need to talk to someone…"

"Yeah, great, thanks." Sam waved him off as he made his escape. He didn't think today could get any worse if it tried. Scratch that- he just hoped it wouldn't. What with worrying that he might end up fucking his brother after all, Gabriel's not-so-subtle attempts at being his new butt-buddy, failing to find out how they wound up in a fan fiction in the first place, and now some random kid worrying that he was getting molested by the gym teacher, Sam didn't think he could handle any more weirdness. Why couldn't the world just leave him and Jess alone and in peace?

Peace, Sam learned the second he walked into Gabriel's new office, was going to be in short supply.

"Ah, Sam, do close the door, would you?"

Sam responded with one of his patented bitch-faces. He was in no mood to deal with Gabriel right now, especially not with him still trying to get in Sam's pants. Instead, he moved to the desk and sat down opposite the archangel, deliberately leaving the door wide open. "Not in the mood Gabriel. What do you want from me?" He bit back a grimace, rubbing at his temples in a futile attempt to shake the headache that was quickly becoming a full on migraine.

"Lollipop?" Gabriel offered, leaning forward and proffering one of the treats.

"Just get to the point, or I'm leaving," Sam grumbled, "This had better not be a come-on, or I swear…"

"Geez, someone's grumpy all of a sudden," Gabriel noted, leaning back in his chair to slurp noisily at a lollipop of his own. "What's buggin' ya Sammy?"

"Oh I don't know!" Sam snapped, "The fact that I'm stuck in this bizarre fan fiction with you maybe? Or the fact that no one will let me be with my dead girlfriend for two fucking minutes?" He paused for a second, before continuing, "No, no, it must be the fact that half the school probably thinks I'm fucking my brother, or the gym teacher, or hell, maybe both at this point!"

At that, Gabriel stood, crossed the small office to the door and shut it.

"Gabe," Sam protested weakly, deciding maybe another tactic might be better, because he was worn out at this point. "Please. I'm really just not in the mood…"

"Done yet?" Gabriel asked, smirking, "I actually did call you in here for a reason, but if you want me to get you in the mood," Now he was leering suggestively down at Sam, who made a point to scoot his chair back a bit.

"Really, I'm good. What'd you call me in here for?"

"Well," He paused for what was clearly dramatic effect – but really only pissed Sam off – grinning like a Cheshire cat. "I was bored a while earlier, set those little monkeys after each other playing dodge ball and got them off my hands for a little…"

"Gabriel," Sam snapped once more, "Get to the point!"

"You really aren't in the mood, are you?" The angel looked almost disappointed for a second before the obnoxious smile was back. "The good news is: I found the fic."

**So I have no idea if I managed to keep everyone in character here, but I doubt it. This turned out a whole lot more angsty than I'd originally intended, and not nearly as funny. Ugh. I hope I didn't disappoint too much with this chapter.**


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